I have my new glasses!


Something that I did not notice at the time (possibly due to not having my contacts in and my eyes being dilated) were the little side rhinestones (or, as this website says, Swarovski crystals) on the sides! So not only are they totally stylin’, they also cater to my love of things that sparkle. They’re quite the bomb-diggity. I wanted to wear them today, but I go to the gym mid-day, and I don’t think glasses and sweaty faces mix.

(This post brought to you by the blog-off I am currently participating in with Angie. I don't really know what a blog-off entails, but I challenged her to one.)

WILL TURNER! !!!!!!!!

I had this GREAT joke I was going to make today, except I couldn't remember that name, and I had to let the joke go, and now I don't even remember it, but now I can let out that breath I didn't know I was holding.

All I want to do is curl up on my couch with my cat nearby, eat cookies and smell the lingering deliciousness of the pork shoulder/teriyaki dinner thing I made. Oh, and listen to the dryer hum. Right, and watch Law & Order. I am doing these things now, and life is pretty much ideal in this moment. Mmm. I can't believe I have to get up and leave my apartment every morning.

You all have said so many things in the last 24 hours! And I want to comment on them all, but I haven't even gotten around to reading them all. Yet.

He cancelled on me! zomg!

Well, not really cancelled so much as rainchecked, and for reasons that, if he weren't an Internet Stranger, I would 100% commiserate with, having been in the same situation. HOWEVER. He is an Internet Stranger, and this makes it more likely that Valid Reason is a total cover lie for "my third wife went into premature labor with our second child, and I have to be there or else she'll re-initiate divorce proceedings and I can't afford to lose all my hedge fund millions." Something like that.

Although, really really oddly, I am not upset, depressed, freaked or otherwise in high dudgeon about this. Which I normally am/would be. I choose to attribute this to my newly adopted philosophy of beaucoup des poissons sur la mer, and I successfully managed not to (psychotically, or as per usual) put all my eggs in this one basket. Or any eggs, really. All my eggs are in the henhouse and I've got a lovely basket collection going. Or. . .something. LIKE WHAT NORMAL BEHAVIOR SHOULD BE LIKE, OMG.

Also, this meant that I got to spend almost all weekend lazing about my new, wonderful apartment. I'm such a homebody, and I hadn't gotten around to that yet! And I downloaded about a dozen songs from iTunes and it's sunny and just in general a fab day. Except for the headache from the teeth grinding ow.

I've really got to get up and shower sometime soon, because it's off to mom's birthday. . .linner? sunch? What do you call a lunch/dinner/supper meal? That. I'm going to that.

I can't find my deodorant. I made a big point of putting that in the Target bag with all my toiletries on the day I moved. Yet, it is not in the apartment as far as I can see.

Having an apartment with a washer/dryer and a dishwasher and having them both running at once, creating a beautiful harmony of sloshy warm water, is really the ultimate luxury.

Where is my tivo remote? The commercials on Law & Order are loud.

I saw Peeps today at Ralphs, and I thought of lawgeekgurl, as I always do when I see Peeps.

I am so tired. I have to break down all these boxes, but I haven't done that and they're just sitting outside my door because I'm afraid the boxes have evil Public Storage bugs in them.

I saw a commercial for some music service on demand on your tv or something, and there was this girl singing and playing a piano and I was all, hey, I like that song, so I totally looked her up and she's a real person and then when I was at Target on Sunday (where I did NOT buy deodorant because I was SURE I had packed it) I totally bought her cd and turns out she's awesome, everyone go watch this Sara Bareilles video for "Love Song" because she is SO AWESOME and like a female Guster except like Billy Joel too except better because she's a girl. And I can't believe I bought a CD from a commercial, just like how advertising is supposed to work.

so tired. how do I have so much stuff? Why did I pack it all so carefully? In so very many boxes?

Sorry, the revelation is still forthcoming.

Apartment move has been achieved. It just occurred to me, like, an hour ago (as I lay prone on my couch with my blanket warmed by my space heater) that this is the first time I've had a one-bedroom apartment. That seems odd, for all I've lived by myself, but those were only singles. Huh.

I had this most awesome thought today, and it's all about how having 30 (okay, 29 and a half) years of experience under your belt actually makes for some good ideas and about being the hunter and not the hunted and why do boys get to do all the pursuing and have all the fun and the very premise of that slime-from-hell book He's Just Not Into You promotes a logical fallacy, but, like I said, there's this couch. And right now it is calling my name. As is the CSI marathon on Spike tv.

Yesterday was an awesome day. And I don't even have a reason for it. Here's what happened yesterday:

* I went to Walgreens.
* I continued to be sick as a dog, with congestion all up in the house and a giant sinus headache.
* I ate a mediocre pecan danish. A pecan from the danish stabbed me in the gum, and then my gum swelled up.
* My mom went outside and returned to tell me that someone, at some point in the day, had totally BACKED INTO MY CAR OR SOMETHING and there is now a huge dent in the driver's side rear door.

But all day yesterday, I just kept thinking, "wow, today is an awesome day! It's gorgeous outside, and life is great and the jasmine in the front yard smells so wonderful!"

It was great, but I kept wondering if someone had replaced my regular coffee with Folgers Crystals granulated MDMA.

And today--today is ALSO SHAPING UP TO BE AWESOME! FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER! I would be worried if I wasn't so satisfied.

Unrelated to being caught in the crossfire of random awesomeness, but definitely not detracting from it at all, I've come across a not unattractive, not unintelligent fellow on the internets. (And possibly most excitingly, he is an L.A. native! It is too sad, this thing about me, where if you were born in L.A. I automatically think that's the most intriguing thing about you.)

And now, I am off to CARPE this fantastic DIEM! Which I will do by sitting on the couch, hacking up a lung, watching basketball and smelling jasmine (when my nose works). Just like yesterday.

Oh! Oh! Here is another awesome thing that happened yesterday: my great aunt sent me an afghan she had crocheted expressly for my use. I had no idea she was up to such shenanigans. And it kind of wonderfully smells all over like old lady, but in the comfy safe way, not the musty stale way.

Oh yeah, and kind of PS? This week I got a job that's awesome and additionally pays me a great deal of money and tomorrow I'm going to look at an apartment in my ideal area that was listed as being completely renovated, with new appliances including a washer and dryer in the unit. And it's in my price range. And it takes cats. All this on top of my being (quite wonderfully! and freely!) single.

Sooooo, yeah. It's been kind of a good week, all around. I win this week.

(suck it, last half of last year! I am free from your clutches for good!)

Me, for the win!

My boss sent me an email this morning that read, What does "skullduggery" mean?

And I sent back, Dastardly deeds. Trickery. . .

And then I thought I might as well at least check that against m-w.com, since I've only ever used that word in a joking, pirate-y context and could be completely wrong. And what does my old friend Merriam Webster have to say about it?

Main Entry: skul·dug·gery
Variant(s): or skull·dug·gery /"sk&l-'d&-g(&-)rE, 'sk&l-"/
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ger·ies
Etymology: origin unknown
: underhanded or unscrupulous behavior; also : a devious device or trick

omg, that is exactly what I said! Boo-yeah (a duck).

Yeah, I'm more excited about that than I should be, so what? Just be happy this isn't another entry about my legs (hurting again today, some more).

It's an Aerosmith kind of day.

...

I just checked my credit report this morning, and I have EXCELLENT credit! I'm 737 on the FICO scale. This is excellent news, especially since I thought for some reason I'd have horrible credit (because I always expect the worst from myself, warranted or not), but I could totally buy a house, y'all.

If I had a $160,000 down payment and made approximately 133% more than I currently do. TOTALLY buy a HOUSE.

1. Motherf'n planes.
2. MOTHERF'N SNAKES!!!!
3. I wasn't afraid of snakes before this movie. Now I am. I'm afraid there may be snakes in my car, or my cupboard, or my bed.
4. SCARY
5. AWESOME
6. About 30 minutes in, I realized it wasn't going to be cheesily good, but instead actually good.
7. Unlike what I feel happens to most movies when a black actor signs on, ( SPOILER ALERT )
8. MOTHERF'N SCARY SNAKES
9. My capsule review to my friend as we were leaving: "that was actually a really good movie. Like, legitimately a good movie, without campiness. But. . .I don't think I'm ever going to see it again."
10. Because: motherf'n REALLY SCARY SNAKES.

Seriously, from the Too Easily Amused This Afternoon files:
L.A. Times: Castro Shows Up in Photos

The world can rest easy--he is NOT a vampire. Really, though. What kind of a title is that?

. . .

In other news, I have scored tickets to the premiere of SNAKES! ON A PLANE! Through the generosity of the Freedom Boyfriend.

I have a friend that writes some of the best card notes I've ever received. An excerpt from this year:

I don't know what I would do without you. Honestly, I feel like I fucking hate everyone but you. I really mean it. Fuck the fucking world. But you are amazing.

I love that. So even though today and the day before were sort of crappy, perhaps this is a portent of a better actual birthday tomorrow and twenty-eighth year. Actually, it will be my twenty-ninth year, but whatever.