I can't find my glasses. I took out my contacts and wanted to finish this episode of Law & Order but I can't find my glasses. I'm about four inches from this screen right now and I'm still squinting. But this weekend I have a doctor's appt for NEW glasses, so even if I can't find my old one, I will have new ones! Yeah, but not immediately, I know. But before the end of April.

Stevia is crap. Let's say you have digestive issues with fake sugar (Splenda, Equal, etc) and you have a recipe that CALLS FOR Splenda, and you're all, ick, and someone tells you, "omg, use Stevia! It's all natural!" Don't use Stevia. It may be all natural, but it tastes just like nutra-sweet, except chalkier.

What am I going to do with 42 subscriptions to vibe packets of stevia?

oh yeah. If anyone is trying to call me, I am not going to be getting to my cell phone calls right away because I have not been able to locate my charger since Saturday. so that means the cell phone is dead and I have to call into it to get messages.

Also, Pat, if you are reading this, Christel's number is only on my cell phone and that is why I have not yet returned her call. Yes, I know about email. It was a busy busy day!

And I can't charge it in the car with my car charger, which I have, because the socket thingy in the rental car i'm using while my car is repaired doesn't work. ay carumba

OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT THE GAS MAN COMES TOMORROW TO INSPECT WHY I HAVE NO GAS AND I HAVE TO LEAVE MY KEYS ALL OVER THE WORLD BECAUSE I WON'T BE HERE AND NOW I HAVE TO SET A KEY TREASURE HUNT AND BREAK DOWN SIX BUGGY BOXES AND AND AAAAND LEAVE FOR WORK HALF AN HOUR EARLY ALL TOMORROW MORNING BECAUSE I AM COVERING SOMEONE ELSE'S DESK THIS WEEK AND IT IS SO NOT ALL GOING TO GET DONE I AM SO TIRED SO SO TIRED

I can't find my deodorant. I made a big point of putting that in the Target bag with all my toiletries on the day I moved. Yet, it is not in the apartment as far as I can see.

Having an apartment with a washer/dryer and a dishwasher and having them both running at once, creating a beautiful harmony of sloshy warm water, is really the ultimate luxury.

Where is my tivo remote? The commercials on Law & Order are loud.

I saw Peeps today at Ralphs, and I thought of lawgeekgurl, as I always do when I see Peeps.

I am so tired. I have to break down all these boxes, but I haven't done that and they're just sitting outside my door because I'm afraid the boxes have evil Public Storage bugs in them.

I saw a commercial for some music service on demand on your tv or something, and there was this girl singing and playing a piano and I was all, hey, I like that song, so I totally looked her up and she's a real person and then when I was at Target on Sunday (where I did NOT buy deodorant because I was SURE I had packed it) I totally bought her cd and turns out she's awesome, everyone go watch this Sara Bareilles video for "Love Song" because she is SO AWESOME and like a female Guster except like Billy Joel too except better because she's a girl. And I can't believe I bought a CD from a commercial, just like how advertising is supposed to work.

so tired. how do I have so much stuff? Why did I pack it all so carefully? In so very many boxes?

Sorry, the revelation is still forthcoming.

Apartment move has been achieved. It just occurred to me, like, an hour ago (as I lay prone on my couch with my blanket warmed by my space heater) that this is the first time I've had a one-bedroom apartment. That seems odd, for all I've lived by myself, but those were only singles. Huh.

I had this most awesome thought today, and it's all about how having 30 (okay, 29 and a half) years of experience under your belt actually makes for some good ideas and about being the hunter and not the hunted and why do boys get to do all the pursuing and have all the fun and the very premise of that slime-from-hell book He's Just Not Into You promotes a logical fallacy, but, like I said, there's this couch. And right now it is calling my name. As is the CSI marathon on Spike tv.

I might run to Target and get a lot of tights and knee socks because it's cold and I have like, one pair of weekend pants and 2980298 weekend skirts.

I watched Tomb Raider last night for like, the third time. I don't like the movie, but sometimes (three times) it's the least objectionable thing on. Plus, it has Daniel Craig and it's an action flick, so I keep thinking that I will like it, this time. I don't think Angelina Jolie is very good-looking, especially so in this movie, so I think that's another reason I watch it. "See? This is how she really looks!"

Now I'm watching the second Lord of the Rings movie for like, the fourth time. Also in an attempt to make myself like it, only it's a more powerful wish with this than the Tomb Raider movie. It's a serial, there's magic in it, it's big and epic and I can tell it's well-made--all of these things I like. Except I just don't like Lord of the Rings. I don't understand it, and I have yet to like it. But I think if I keep watching it, I'll at least enjoy its familiarity.

Cats are really cute. Sometimes, I just look at a cat and thing, "gosh darn it, that cat is really cute."

Yesterday I guilted my mom into coming with me to get the Christmas tree, and then we totally got rear-ended in her car by some guy with no insurance. Whoops. But I would have been driving her car to get the tree if I had been alone, anyway, so at least there's that.

I wasn't going to write this post because it seems like all I'm doing lately is complaining. But I really should take advantage of the muse when she strikes (even if she's stricken me with multiple ailments, and possibly also a large blunt object).

First, something up-tempo: I am going to see the Spice Girls in Vegas this December! Awww, yeah, whose house? RUN'S HOUSE! I was awakened this morning by a text message from my friend Tom in Chicago saying he got a code, and was I in? OF COURSE. As Kristi said, "nothing says Christmas like the Spice Girls in Vegas." This is how it is: at 9:32 am you are only vaguely aware that the Spice Girls are reuniting, perhaps for only one show in London, like Led Zeppelin, and at 9:37 am you have an entire weekend itinerary of buffets and shopping.

Alright. Now onto a slow number: I may not see this show if I DIE beforehand. While doing the final apartment load-out on Sunday, I had allergies so bad that I could not fall asleep, because I would start breathing through my nose, at which point terrible burning and shockingly loud, barking sneezes would occur. THEN my thumb is still hurting in that place where I tore my tendon 20 years ago (OH GOD OLDSAUCE), except now the pain is sort of radiating outward, across the hand and up to my elbow. And it is a vibrating, thrummy pain. It's more of a challenge to breathe than it should be. Additionally, everything else aches generally, like when you have the flu, except I don't have the flu. And I am starving, but do not want to eat anything. And my legs and feet feel sort of numb and weak. And I have a pimple on my leg.

LEG PIMPLE.

So what I'm saying is, all my aerobic activity in my toxic mold apartment has given me rapid onset arthritis, asthma and muscular dystrophy. And possibly lupus. So I might not make it to Vegas.

I am so tired from the moving. And I mean. . .tired, causation: moving. I just--it all hurts. My right sternum area feels like it's being stabbed. What would CAUSE that? Also, my thumb where I tore the tendon in elementary school just won't stop aching. And I have some sort of burning pinprick sensation on my lower side calf. And then yesterday I probably had too much Comet powder and toxic apartment mold in my lungs and on my body, giving me that cough and rash.

Moving is so. . .so. . .there should be a lolcat about moving. I would put it here.

This is the longest (approx 4 yrs) I've lived somewhere before an all out move. OMG. IT SO HORRIFIES.

Ugh, now there is a FOUL STENCH from outside. Also, I am itchy everywhere again.

Since there's no appropriate lolcat, I give you inappropriate loldog:

OMG, you guys, I am SICK AGAIN.

AGAIN!!!! SICK AGAIN!

This time it's a raging sore throat and intense sinus pressure. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That's it, I give up. Did I already give up? I'm giving up anyway.

How old are you? Here's how old: If Kurt Cobain hadn't killed himself, he would be 40 today.

Forty years old. And if that makes you feel old, well. . .you are. Hope they have Siamese Dream in the nursing home for everybody.

Okay, okay. So I finally downloaded some Regina Spektor and I like it, alright? You all, everyone, you were right. However, I wish I'd read one thing on Lily Allen before I'd purchased her CD (through iTunes), because it's all reggae-influenced and. . .ick. And sugared up? More ick. Which is too bad, because I like her lyrics.

Yesterday I had food poisoning. And a 100.5 fever for about 18 hours. I've. . .never had food poisoning before. It was pretty awful. At one point, the stabbing pains had me (and my mom) convinced my spleen had ruptured. I tried to take a shower today and I had to step out three times because I thought I was going to pass out from lightheadedness and inability to breathe. And I'd like to be officially done with being sick now, thanks.

And last night I had this dream where everything in my apartment was stolen. Except a hallway rug. And the bookcase I hate.

post for the day. post post post.

Alright, here's some content: I'm not really sick anymore, just a tiny bit achy and sniffly. But ever since I caught the flu, I've been getting really tired starting around 8 pm. Not "sleepy" tired, more "pass out" tired. And I force myself to stay up another couple of hours, because I don't want to wake up at four or five, like I did the first couple of days. But then when I finally get in bed, around 10 or 11, I can't get to sleep. But I'm still really exhausted. That is annoying, to say the least.

Also, if people who live in Denver can tell me what they wear in early/mid April, that would be great.

I wasn't going to make another post about my legs because I'm not a gramma. But this was so ridiculous last night, nothing else that happened to me succeeds it as post-per-day postworthy.

My legs hurt. A lot, right? Even though I felt mostly better everywhere else (except I couldn't do much without suddenly overheating). And the pain kept getting worse, even though I was taking Theraflu, which has acetaminophen in it.

So I decided to go to bed, both because it would take my mind off the leg pain and because American Idol was over, so what more could the day bring me?

Oh, so much more.

Whatever is causing this pain, movement must help it, because it just got worse and worse while I was lying in bed. I'd rotate every half-minute or so, because that would stop the aching for about five seconds, but then it would come back even worse. And five seconds is not long enough to fall asleep. Although I think I actually fell asleep at some point, for half an hour or something, but then I woke up because my legs hurt.

And during this entire time, I wasn't even really tired anymore (I'd been nearly passed out right before my head hit the pillow, because of the Theraflu, I imagine, and being generally weak). I can only imagine it was because THE PAIN KEPT ME WIDE AWAKE.

Anyway, I look at the clock around 4:40 a.m. and decide that even though I've taken painkillers all day long that haven't helped, I have now about one hour of sleep that can possibly be caught, and it wouldn't hurt to try something again. So I thud my way into the kitchen (it's hard to walk when your legs hurt so much you can't really feel them move anymore--it turns out) and grab the Bayer bottle, the first thing I see (blearily).

Okay, as my friend Tom said: "They even make Bayer anymore?" And I only have it for these aspirin masks I planned to make for my face (and only did once). I don't think I've ever taken aspirin before in my life. But, of course, it worked.

It worked pretty immediately, too, so I managed to get my hour of sleep in. Bayer, who knew?

I'm a little (not very, though) worried that I've had some muscle loss in my legs due to this weirdness. My pants this morning (and yesterday) went on kind of loosely and while I haven't eaten much for the past several days--four days wouldn't really earn that significant a weight loss, right? I have Movie Wasting Away disease!

I hate my roommate. I hate my job. I hate that my dad has incurable cancer. I hate that I'm fat. I hate that I don't have any money right now. I hate that I do not ever think I'll have a boyfriend, let alone be in love. I hate that I'm breaking out and I can't figure out why. I hate that this year has been so hard. I hate that it REFUSES TO STOP. I hate that I had to be at work for eight hours today. I hate that I got NOTHING done this weekend. I hate that. . .I'm too exhausted to list anything else.

Oh god, yeah, i didn't get to unclog my shower and I'll hate standing in two inches of water tomorrow morning. I hate being resentful of everyone else in the world, it seems, sometimes. I hate that my back hurts chronically and constantly.

I'm so tired. I should not talk to anyone before I finish my lunch. Dinner. For today. Don't pay any attention to me, I'm sure I'll be a bit more cheerful about things tomorrow. If not, it should be a fun day for all my coworkers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I picked the wrong day to . . .keep not drinking.